Surely You Knew

Why is this a thing?

Do you ever find yourself with an item and you wonder how we as a society came to accept or need this specific thing? Well I do. The mind works in mysterious ways and mine is no exception. On a recent wondering session my mind found its way to thinking about stockings, pantyhose if you will, anyways what's the point of them? Why were they invented? Besides the women at your local Hooters who actually has a need for them? They are poorly manufactured, easily destructible, and itchy as hell. I for one say down with these uncomfortable and obviously socially imposed items and up with natural showing legs. Whether you are pale, hairy, or in need of lotion natural showing legs are the way to go!






Random Facts For Your Everyday Life (Stupid Laws)
* In California animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

* In the city of Blythe: You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.

* In Arizona: When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.

* In Alaska It is forbidden to push a moose out of a plane which is in motion, it is against the law to look at a moose from an airplane, it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose


* In New York: A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

Beach Going

Being a southern California native I have a special bond with the beach. I enjoy lounging and tanning and even the occasional dip in the water. But ever since I was a small child my least favorite part of the beach is the sand. The sand that gets in everywhere and on everything. On a recent trip to the beach a group of friends who are very athletic wanted to play multiple rounds of beach volleyball. Against my better judgment I decided to join in on the first game. I am a person who enjoys being active and I have a competitive streak as well so the decision was not a difficult one to make. However once I actually began to play I realized that I had definitely made a bad decision for myself. First of all women were not meant to wear string bikinis while playing volleyball. So to avoid exposing myself I had to put my shorts and tank top back on, which helped me tremendously to gather more sweat. And in turned I was able to maintain my awkward tan that I have spent most of this summer perfecting. Next is the diving. Yes the diving into the sand so that you can save the ball and be a great team player. While it is a selfless act in theory the reality is that once you have done the deed your body appearance and feelings are not the same for the rest of the day. The results could be endlessly miserable. You run the risk of getting injured to the point of bleeding, getting sand in your mouth (which never seems to be entirely gone until days later), sand in your eyes, and sand in your suit (also notoriously difficult to get rid of). The latter of which is my biggest pet peeve. And lucky for me I was actually able to achieve this act while playing. I was highly uncomfortable for the rest of the game. I was not able to recover by taking a trip to the ocean, some things are only fixed with a real shower. I did however reinforce a valuable lesson that sand does not need to ever make contact with certain parts of my body. New realizations were made that beach volleyball should be left to the professionals and I learned that I would never want to be recruited to make pearls. 

Am I too old? 

Earlier this year I went to watch Iron Man 2 in a movie theater in Monrovia on a Friday night. Naturally the theater was packed and my boyfriend and I ended up having to sit in the very last row in the corner. Next to us there was a group of teenage kids who we extremely inappropriate. The kids could not have been much older than 16 by the looks of them but they acted like  filthy adults. About four of them got up a third of the way through the movie and left one couple behind. The four leavers didn't even return until the last ten minutes of the movie. The couple that stayed started kissing and groping each other and hardly ever came up for air. They were not even phased by the fact that they were in a public place and sitting relatively close to us and we could clearly tell what they were doing, and where their hands were disappearing to. I know that the movies have always been a place for tom foolery but this behavior crossed a line to me. Is this a generational thing? Am I too old to appreciate the art of a public groping session? Maybe I'm old fashion but isn't that what the back seat of cars are for? All I know is that those kids all wasted their money because they didn't even watch the movie, and that to me is a tragedy.