NEW EXPERIENCES I made my way to the elevator and up to the eleventh floor with the other lucky people selected to be on the jury panel that morning. When we arrived at the court room a sign on the door read “stay in hallway await further instructions”. My heart raced and my palms began to sweat, the stress of what may happen in the passing hours made me feel ill. After what felt like a life time someone finally came out and greeted us. She was a court aid who issued each of us numbers to put in place of our juror badges to identify and dehumanize us at the same time.
We, the lucky 35, filled into the court room and were seated in numerical order inside the jury box as well as in the orchestra section of the courtroom. The presiding judge decided that it was time for us to hear the second speech of the day about the importance of fulfilling our civic duties. When he spoke and explained the outline for the days proceedings he used simple vocabulary. Also we were made aware of the charge against the defendant (alleged possession and intent to sell of illegal narcotics) and an estimated time for the total duration of the trial if we were to be selected. All the while the potential jurors sat glancing to the back of the room where the clock was mounted on the wall. At noon we were all excused for an hour and a half lunch and when we returned it was Q and A time.
What is your age, occupation, marital status, city of residence, do you have prior jury service, etc. And finally do you believe you have the ability to be a good juror and be impartial. The excuses and arguments that the judge had to put up with were too funny. He even said that picking a jury on a Friday afternoon was extremely different from picking a jury on a Monday. Apparently the excuses and outlandish remarks fly freely on Fridays.
Because the case was a criminal case it was also imperative that the judge find out what everyone’s status or connection to criminal activities were if any. (I.E. have you or anyone you know ever been charged with a crime?) This is a little rediculous to me because who doesn't know someone who in the course of their lives has not been arrested, gotten a DUI, or punched a cop?!
It quickly became clear to me those potential jurors who did not want to be chosen because they would tell elaborate tales on why they were unsuited for JD. They would say things like “I hate criminals” and “I don’t think I can be impartial” when they had merely been asked to reply to the questions in a tiny matter. One man even said that he thought marijuana should be for all purposes legal because it is a “soft drug” as he called it. He also wanted to let everyone know that he believed that Opium was a soft drug.
At the end of the day I was never asked any questions and the 12 jurors and two alternates were chosen from the first 30 people from the panel. All in all it was not such a bad day and I did learn some stuff about the court systems as a few perks for jurors. Free admission to the Mocha Museum with juror badge, 15 dollars a day for the duration of the trial (if you are selected), free MTA passes, and the opportunity to perform your civic duty!
RANDOM FACTS FOR YOUR EVERY DAY LIFE* The pope's official barber, who cuts only the pope's hair, earns an annual salary equivalent to $250,000 (US).
* "Bingo," which is spelled/clapped repeatedly in the traditional children's song, is actually the name of the man - not the dog.
* The original Manhattan cocktail was garnished with a drop of blood.
GLAMOUR PUSSMy new favorite book and number one on my need to have it list is Glamour Puss. It is a collection fabulous photography featuring sultry felines decked out in their best wigs. Yes that’s right. Cats in Wigs! Each cat has more model attitude than the last and I couldn’t stop cracking up at the sight of these charming specimens. I highly recommend it to everyone.
MOST RECENT RANDOM ART WORK CREATED ON COMPUTER PAINT PROGRAM
CRAIGSLIST FUNSometimes at work I look up random things on craigslist just for fun. Several of the postings are truly mind-boggling (Example: Live in Love Slave In Exchange For Room and Board) and the free things people are giving away are accompanied by an arbitrary story about why they are giving it away. Once I saw two pinball machines and an arcade sized pac man video game that a woman going through a divorce was giving away.
Her explanation was that her soon to be cheating ex husband had bought the arcade games for his game room and if she sold them she would be court ordered to give him 50% of the profits in the divorce. However, if she gave these items away for free she would not have to give him any money to compensate for his loss. Oh women are so resourceful and clever! But those kinds of things are what makes craigslist a good resource for cool things. Just watch out for that love slave stuff.
DRUNK FEETWe all know the effects of alcohol when taken orally. But did you know that the effects of alcohol can also be absorbed through the skin? In other words you could become intoxicated by soaking body parts in liquor. I have conducted massive amounts of research (and by research I mean made up facts and drawn my own conclusions) that you would be able to put your feet in a bucket of liquor and absorb the ethyl and be intoxicated. So you should throw a party where all of the guests soak their feet in liquor! It is sure to be gobs of fun!
GEAR GRINDERSI do not appreciate the angry message on my voicemail from the dentists’ office.
Geez lady you should have called me to remind me that I had an appointment with the dentist yesterday. I did make the damn thing like 6 months ago. Lighten up! You judgment is way harsh. Oh sorry going to the dentist is not even on my list of super awesome things I have to do. Can anyone blame me when my more recent experiences there have not been more painful and drawn out for me than pleasant? Now I don’t want to go just to spite you receptionist! That is all.
